Posted in The Writer's Life

Happy Galentine’s Day…

Today, I’m going to address the elephant in the room. It’s Valentine’s Day again. This is a hard holiday for a lot of people. People who hope to find a partner in life. People who are going through break-ups, divorce, or learning hard truths about the people they call their significant other. And I know this well because I’ve been in all those categories at one point or another. Currently, I’m single. And while I am ready to mingle, apparently the pool of available singles aren’t all that into people like me. And that’s okay!

Ladies, I think this is one time, I’m grateful for the pandemic limiting options. Restaurant services will be more limited than usual thanks to the holiday. This is a time when, being in public, you’re hyper-aware of all the couples that surround you. Your social media feeds will have “Our Story” posts, or “Look what I got!” posts. Meanwhile, we’re over here in our leggings and sweaters while huddled up on the bed/couch with a blanket, fuzzy socks, our favorite drinks, snacks, and a Netflix binge or book. Book boyfriends are a real thing for the avid readers out there. I’m counting myself lucky that I get to create my own. 🙂 Though I would not mind a Warren or Nathan in my life. (Thank you Elicia Hyder.) And don’t get me started on those Winchester brothers. (Have mercy!) The point is, it is okay to find something to distract ourselves for the next few days.

That being said, I want to tell you a few things.

My Funny Valentine
  1. Never doubt that you are an amazing person. (Unless of course you’re killing people for sport or some other crazy thing like that.) You don’t need a holiday to recognize your own worth or to celebrate your own version of self-love.
  2. You don’t need permission to buy yourself fresh flowers or chocolates. Indulge once in a while, I promise it’s okay and it will do you a world of good. Besides, buying it yourself, you get what you really like.
  3. It is perfectly acceptable to take a break from social media. I often wish that Facebook and other sites had options for excluding politics and “look at my kid” posts. I love keeping up with my friends. I’m happy for those who have found their person in life. But, it can get overwhelming seeing all the lovey dovey posts. Not to mention the insane amount of engagements and “in a relationship” status changes that will happen this weekend. So, I will take that break and just focus on something other than what everyone else is doing.
  4. Yes, your beloved pet counts as your Valentine. I know Pip does. That unconditional love is something you can’t replace with a human being. It is the closest thing to the love God has for us on earth.

I’ve been blessed with a few amazing friends in life. Among them, I’m the only one who remains single at this point. My best friend of 27 years and her husband sent me an awesome Valentine’s Day surprise ahead of the hooplah. She knows I love my tea and sent me a lovely Tea Forte sampler to try out. Which will go amazing with my new flamingo mug she sent earlier. In fact, as I am typing this I’m enjoying the Raspberry Ganache tea and it is delicious.

Let me tell ya, there were plenty of years that I wished we didn’t live so far away now. I would definitely have been happy to spend Valentine’s Day at a dinner party or tea party we put together with board games and conversation over the years. So, don’t overlook opportunities to help a friend who may need a pick-me-up as well.

I know the feeling of wanting to have someone to share life with. I’ve also learned that you have to build a life you love while you’re open to that happening. The way our world is now, people have awkward notions of what relationships are and how to be in them. Sometimes being on your own is the best thing for us. It allows us to focus on our own growth and find our passions. Finding real love is a rare thing. I’m convinced of that now. Maybe we’ll get lucky. But maybe we won’t. The key is figuring out how to find your own happiness in any situation.

So for all of us who are struggling with our relationship status while the world is celebrating couples, I wish you Happy Valentines Day. Journal those feelings and let them out. Take a deep breath, look yourself in the mirror and tell your reflection all the things you love about yourself. Take that hot bath, go for a walk/run, do some yoga, or whatever you do to move and feel good. Treat yourself to a mani-pedi or a massage. Remember that you are worth the time and effort it takes to love yourself and no perfect partner is going to fill a void you’re creating for yourself.

Comment and tell me what you’re doing for your solo Valentines Day experience. Maybe you’ll give me and other single readers some ideas for next year.

Posted in The Writer's Life, Uncategorized

Happy Singles Awareness Day…

Yes, I said it.

Yes, I’m single.  No, I’m not anti-Valentine’s Day. It just isn’t something that was ever really celebrated for me. Sure, I gave out the little cards when I was in school. As an adult, if an effort to celebrate was made it was all on me to make it a special occasion. I’m not the sort of girl who evokes a sense of romance. That’s just part of who I am. I’ve learned to accept it. Just as I’ve learned to accept being single.

I used to have big dreams of a husband and kids. I tried the marriage thing for 6 years. I learned a great many things about myself in that time. I also put up with far more than I should have in an effort to make it work. That’s all part of my past though and not something to be constantly relived. Today, my goals and plans for life are much different and, I think, much more practical.

I’ve accepted that a family of my own won’t happen and turned my attention toward creating a life that I find appealing and enjoyable. I spend my time writing and living vicariously through characters that fit more of an ideal for me.

The truth is, I’m too old fashioned for my own good. A woman like me really can’t compete in today’s dating climate. And, to be perfectly honest, I don’t really want to anymore. I value things like loyalty and compromise. I don’t see those things in modern relationships.  I’m more likely to be the eccentric aunt in my own story. The modern spinster with books on shelves as life goes on.

For those of you celebrating the day of romance, I say have a glass of wine or champagne for those of us who are celebrating alone. I think I shall spend my evening in sweatpants with some icecream and my real Valentine, Pip the pup. A scary movie might take my mind off the obvious and put me in an inspired mood to keep the keys clicking away as they are now.

Posted in The Writer's Life, Uncategorized

Winter has yet to come…

Texas weather is rarely predictable from November through April. This year has been a constant back and forth of cold and hot. Our days seem to go from one extreme to the other. One day I went in to my job and it was 76F by the time I left work is was in the mid 30s. The next day we were sitting in the sixties again. You never know how to dress. Rain is a constant threat this time of year. So, an umbrella is a necessary accessory to have on a daily basis. And of course, when the weather changes, everyone fights off some sort of crud. I’m no exception.

Last week I was at the doctor for yet another upper respiratory infection. This is my second round with this. I’m not thrilled but the antibiotics are helpful and thank God I have sick time to take that is paid at this point; otherwise there would also be bills to worry about while I heal.  As it stands, I paid my copay, got my meds, and am on the mend.

Feeling better than I was. For the last couple weeks, I’ve just not had the energy to  do much of anything. It was as though I couldn’t get enough sleep. I worked, I came home, I napped, and did only the bare minimum. This left little time to get the creative juices going. Dare I even mention my lack of attention to my activity goals for this year? I didn’t get to the pool at all. And I miss it. So I have to get back to it tomorrow. Routine is not my forte right now.

df213daa9f7abb8efe5976173bbee54dI am in love with a new skincare and pampering line that I was introduced to. I like it so much that I opted to do the consultant thing and make a little cash for going on about it with my social contacts. So yes, I am an official Perfectly Posh Independent Consultant. You can check out the website and so forth if you are so inclined to help a writer out. One of the many supplements to the income stream so that I can pursue writing on a more full-time basis.

Honestly, I do love the products. I’ll be booking some in-person and virtual parties. Doing a bit of selling when I’m able to. But we’ll see how it goes. I won’t be heart broken if it fizzles out for me. I know how the MLM schemes work. I’m not going to hard sell anyone. Or be annoying about it. Just one more thing that has happened that I wanted to mention.

What else is there?

I am planning a vacation in the beginning of June. So I’m excited to be going to see friends and family again. It’s been too long. I’m overdue some fun times. I also plan to do a writer’s retreat weekend sooner than that. Taking time away for a night or two for the sake of focusing on a project and getting lost in it. That’s something that I can say is difficult when I’m working a full-time job. It’s hard to find the hours to sit down lost in my story. I need to though. I’m overdue for some serious time in the chair with the world of my own making. I think it is far more interesting than the one outside my door. But, I’m partial.

16602613_1589352667760112_1362999052483579042_nValentine’s Day was fairly uneventful. My mom bought me one of those Fragrant Jewel Bath Bombs. It had this lovely pink ice ring inside it. It was a great gift really. I was pampered in the tub and then had sparklies to boot. What more can a girl ask for? Maybe a mani because my nails are a mess lately. I really need to think about doing that for myself on payday.

Oh I should also get a picture in the new glasses. Since I got those last week as well. They’ve been a much needed change for me. These help my headaches and lessen the eye strain from being on the computer so much during the day.

I recently purchased a few books that I wanted to read and haven’t gotten around to. Currently on the list, I’m reading Prince Lestat by Anne Rice. I was a fan of the earlier work in the Vampire Chronicles so I am hopeful with this one that she’s gone back to the style and work that I enjoyed so much.

Now, I am going to rest and get back to the grindstone tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll find myself with some time to devote to the book or a short story.