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The Thankful Post…

This year has put everyone into a sort of funk. I think we have to be realistic and see that there is a possibility that the way we live is changed forever. Things won’t go back to “normal” as they were before the pandemic. As my family enjoys our traditional holiday meal today, I’m forced to take a look at the blessings I’ve experienced in the past year. I think that it is important for all of us to consider the small things this year because it has been such a trying year for us all.

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

I am very thankful for my family. I’m sure many of us are feeling that way. For an introvert like me that love and support is so important.

So very thankful for my pup. I don’t know how I could even begin to cope with the loneliness I’ve experienced without him at this point. He’s been such a big blessing in a little package.

I am also thankful that I was able to enroll in myself in school again. I still cannot believe at times that I am a student again at the age of 41, but here we are and I’m doing okay with it all. We’ll see how that goes when I find a new job though. Juggling everything is going to be a trick.

I have been able to do several things for myself this year that I didn’t expect. Hoping and praying that I have taken steps to set myself up for better success in the new year as well. I’m thankful that I was in a position to do so.

I’m also thankful that my immediate family hasn’t been affected by this virus. Though, I admit that we’ve taken precautions and I have opted to stay home. Going back to a normal workplace, especially if I have to work with the public, is something that makes me nervous though. I am praying that my luck holds when I do go back to work.

I am thankful that God granted me the ability to amuse myself through creativity. I am rarely at a loss for ideas. And that’s kept me from being bored in quarantine.

I am also thankful that I’m able ot do a little something for my loved ones for the upcoming Christmas holiday as well. It may not be much, but it is more than many families will be able to do this year thanks to the circumstances we all find ourselves in.

I am writing this at nearly 3:00 A.M. My night owl tendencies are showing. I’m happy to still be able to do what I do. And I’ll likely spend part of my day with my journal at some point. There is a much larger list of gratitudes I’ll put down privately. But I wanted to share some of these big ones in an effort to connect with all of you who are reading this blog. And I hope that you’ll take the time to share something with me that you’re grateful for this year in the comments.

To all of you, I want to say Happy Thanksgiving. I pray that, if you aren’t able to or comfortable with being in person with family and friends today, you’ll get creative so you can share time with them. Facetime them, Skype, make a call, or do something else. Remember that there are some who will spend the day alone longing for someone to share memories with. Count your own blessings today and enjoy making the best memories that you can. Then, may we all start looking forward to Christmas and the hope it brings every year.

Image by Biljana Jovanovic from Pixabay 
Posted in Family Life, The State of the Fluff, The Writer's Life

Gratitude

So many things are happening in my life that quiet moments to reflect on everything seem rare. Tonight, happens to be one of those nights. Charles is at work and I just put the munchkin down for the night. She and the pup are all tucked in and things are still for now. This is normally when I get some time in to write. Frankly, when you have a six year old at home who is super active, you don’t get a lot of time to sit still and just be. Add to that, the fact that she gets into anything and everything she can find and I spend more time cleaning up messes than I do anything else right now. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

thankfulI am so very blessed and grateful. For the first time in what feels like many years, I wake up happy to greet the day. You see, what many people may not realize about me is that for years I struggled to figure out who I was and how I fit into this big world. I explored many things, had questionable friends, put my family through a great deal of worry that now seems very unnecessary. I married someone I shouldn’t have, for reasons that I shouldn’t have allowed to affect that decision. I paid a hefty price for my naivety for about six years.

On the surface, I seemed confident and self assured. I bucked the system, fought my instincts, and tried to be a rebel for all that time. And I somehow managed to convince myself that it was all okay. In fact, I did such a good job of it that I was blindsided when that marriage fell apart. I didn’t think that I could go on from it or trust anyone again. Now, I’m thankful that it all happened. I did get something out of it. I got a relationship with a pretty awesome young woman who will always be a daughter to me and I got my little cat, Mariska.

291826_364783330281701_2094463518_nI think I got my self-confidence back because I had to fight my way through such a dark place. Before it was over I was depressed beyond anything that had happened to me emotionally since college and dealing with my biological father. Realizing that I married someone just like him was literally a slap in the face that jarred me into realizing what I needed to change about my outlook on things. I was tired of being emotionally beaten down. I realized that I had been abused during that time by someone who would never ever appreciate me as a person and that had to change. I was better off alone.

Then within a matter of two weeks everything was different. After a month and a half, I put myself out there to meet new people. It was time that I try to become more socialized again. I’d been a hermit for the better part of two years. It was then that I met Charles and a host of other people. And I’m convinced that people are put into our paths for a reason. I’m grateful for all the experiences I’ve had in my life with people from various places. They’ve all helped me to come out of my shell in many ways.

But right now, I am most grateful for the way things are turning out. I can run down a list of things that are going amazingly for me right now. I won’t. What I will say is that I finally have an amazing man in my life. I’m doing something that I love to do and have become what I truly believe I was born to be. 

It is true that things aren’t perfect but, they never are. There are always things that could be better. But, we have a roof over our heads as a family. We have food on our table every day. We’re ready to home school our little one starting in September. We wake up every morning just thankful to be together and have our own lives.

I am so thankful that things have changed like they have. My life is completely different from what it was a year ago. I am happier and that makes a huge difference in everything.