Today, I’m going to address the elephant in the room. It’s Valentine’s Day again. This is a hard holiday for a lot of people. People who hope to find a partner in life. People who are going through break-ups, divorce, or learning hard truths about the people they call their significant other. And I know this well because I’ve been in all those categories at one point or another. Currently, I’m single. And while I am ready to mingle, apparently the pool of available singles aren’t all that into people like me. And that’s okay!
Ladies, I think this is one time, I’m grateful for the pandemic limiting options. Restaurant services will be more limited than usual thanks to the holiday. This is a time when, being in public, you’re hyper-aware of all the couples that surround you. Your social media feeds will have “Our Story” posts, or “Look what I got!” posts. Meanwhile, we’re over here in our leggings and sweaters while huddled up on the bed/couch with a blanket, fuzzy socks, our favorite drinks, snacks, and a Netflix binge or book. Book boyfriends are a real thing for the avid readers out there. I’m counting myself lucky that I get to create my own. 🙂 Though I would not mind a Warren or Nathan in my life. (Thank you Elicia Hyder.) And don’t get me started on those Winchester brothers. (Have mercy!) The point is, it is okay to find something to distract ourselves for the next few days.
That being said, I want to tell you a few things.
- Never doubt that you are an amazing person. (Unless of course you’re killing people for sport or some other crazy thing like that.) You don’t need a holiday to recognize your own worth or to celebrate your own version of self-love.
- You don’t need permission to buy yourself fresh flowers or chocolates. Indulge once in a while, I promise it’s okay and it will do you a world of good. Besides, buying it yourself, you get what you really like.
- It is perfectly acceptable to take a break from social media. I often wish that Facebook and other sites had options for excluding politics and “look at my kid” posts. I love keeping up with my friends. I’m happy for those who have found their person in life. But, it can get overwhelming seeing all the lovey dovey posts. Not to mention the insane amount of engagements and “in a relationship” status changes that will happen this weekend. So, I will take that break and just focus on something other than what everyone else is doing.
- Yes, your beloved pet counts as your Valentine. I know Pip does. That unconditional love is something you can’t replace with a human being. It is the closest thing to the love God has for us on earth.
I’ve been blessed with a few amazing friends in life. Among them, I’m the only one who remains single at this point. My best friend of 27 years and her husband sent me an awesome Valentine’s Day surprise ahead of the hooplah. She knows I love my tea and sent me a lovely Tea Forte sampler to try out. Which will go amazing with my new flamingo mug she sent earlier. In fact, as I am typing this I’m enjoying the Raspberry Ganache tea and it is delicious.
Let me tell ya, there were plenty of years that I wished we didn’t live so far away now. I would definitely have been happy to spend Valentine’s Day at a dinner party or tea party we put together with board games and conversation over the years. So, don’t overlook opportunities to help a friend who may need a pick-me-up as well.
I know the feeling of wanting to have someone to share life with. I’ve also learned that you have to build a life you love while you’re open to that happening. The way our world is now, people have awkward notions of what relationships are and how to be in them. Sometimes being on your own is the best thing for us. It allows us to focus on our own growth and find our passions. Finding real love is a rare thing. I’m convinced of that now. Maybe we’ll get lucky. But maybe we won’t. The key is figuring out how to find your own happiness in any situation.
So for all of us who are struggling with our relationship status while the world is celebrating couples, I wish you Happy Valentines Day. Journal those feelings and let them out. Take a deep breath, look yourself in the mirror and tell your reflection all the things you love about yourself. Take that hot bath, go for a walk/run, do some yoga, or whatever you do to move and feel good. Treat yourself to a mani-pedi or a massage. Remember that you are worth the time and effort it takes to love yourself and no perfect partner is going to fill a void you’re creating for yourself.
Comment and tell me what you’re doing for your solo Valentines Day experience. Maybe you’ll give me and other single readers some ideas for next year.